womens weekend monologue

And in other news, The Salvation Army is reportedly holding it’s annual women’s ministry camp right here in Hunterdon County at Camp Tecumseh this weekend. Stay tuned to WKAP radio for news and weather on the hour. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.


Oh, hello there. Please don’t be startled…I know it’s not every day you come face to face with a talking radio, but what can I do… it’s a decent life, being a radio…… lots of entertainment…

See, I live in the janitor’s closet, normally, until they borrowed me and brought me here for the weekend. It sure is different out here…..so quiet….there’s always something going on in the janitor’s closet….mostly, it’s those ridiculous tools…they give me such a headache. they’re always arguing about something or other.

I’ll be you’d like to be a fly on the wall for one of those arguments…..believe me, so would I – the flies can LEAVE when they’ve had enough! But, I don’t really have that option…..mostly I just tune them out, but the other day, they were really going at each other…..they were so obnoxious I couldn’t help but listen in on what they were saying……

THOSE IDIOT TOOLS WERE FIGHTING ABOUT WHO WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF THEM ALL.

The hammer started it. He’s so loud….always bragging about himself, but seriously, all he really does is drown everyone out. He never listens. All that noise is bound to start an argument…..

or so says the saw……but if you want my opinion, that saw doesn’t have a lot of room to talk…all she ever does is cause division….so much for her cutting remarks!

I just can’t believe how they behave! If it’s not the hammer and the saw fighting, it’s the Yardstick and the Sandpaper…

.those two are constantly sniping at each other….. “you have no right to judge…with you, nothing can ever measure up” – that’s what sandpaper says about yardie……and yardie just HAS to dig back about the sand paper always rubbing everyone the wrong way……

The Level tried to step in and point out the ridiculousness of the argument, but none of the other tools would listen to her…they were too busy ganging up on the poor nails for being so sharp with everyone.

I thought they’d never shut up, but then the janitor came in with a broken chair…..he started fixing it…..first he used the yardstick to measure out a new piece of wood for the seat, then the saw to cut it….he nailed it together with the hammer and nails, and sanded the edges so they were smooth….

When he left, they were really quiet……the level finally spoke up, and was able to say what she’d been trying to say all along…..that none of them could do it by themselves. They were a team. A tool box. That by themselves, they could only do little things, but together, they could do so much more.

That level has quite a “level” head on her……OH! Here comes the janitor….


[hum a tune] You’re listening to WKAP radio. That was “Once upon a closet” by “the toolbox gang” This concludes our regularly scheduled programming. Stay tuned to WKAP radio for more exciting tales and tunes from the toolbox.